Dan Rendel
I've been missing my ex boyfriend a lot recently - It's hard because not only was he my first love but also my best friend. We started dating when I was 18 and he was 16. I'm 21 now and looking back on everything I realise how much of an idiot I've been.
Don't worry I'm not going to feel sorry for my self and start moaning haha! Though...I really wish I could have another shot because as I am older, I've come to realise how I should be in a relationship. There's no one I love more than Dan Rendel and I'm not blind to the imperfections we have. I found a list he wrote of all the things that bothered him within the relationship and as I was reading it I was thinking to myself: 'how could I not do this?'
I think I was going through a patch where I wanted to find myself but unfortunately Dan felt the wrath of Hansi.
I can honestly say I'm not even like that anymore, I have no idea what I was thinking!
However saying all this I am quite happy even though I am sad that Dans moving on. There's not much I can do if that's how he feels! :) So I'm just staying single for now... Though I wouldn't mind having a boyfriend who I could spoil! :D Making them breakfast in bed, foodies when they're poorly or Sunday roasts... Unlimited kisses and hugs, taking walks in the park, going to new places and having a giggle :3 it's nice just to be able to look after someone. Buying gifts and things. Ooooh it'll be reet. I love Dan and I think he'll always be special to me but it's time to get a grip of reality and do my own thing. Poor pudding, pigeon, fat bear, bumbum bee, mrs bum, little seal.
(Every nickname Dan had for me symbolised something round and fat hahahaha charming! :P)
Happiness?
Lots of hugs & kisses & art & silly things & big blankets cause blankets are the best when its cold. Brrrrr.
Im going to draw a psychedelic portrait of my friend Rachel, I think ill give it her it for christmas.
Working a 9-5.30 tomorrow
I wish I could draw for a job.
I need a cuddle :3 ahaha
Im going to draw a psychedelic portrait of my friend Rachel, I think ill give it her it for christmas.
Working a 9-5.30 tomorrow
I wish I could draw for a job.
I need a cuddle :3 ahaha
I still havent started that list of commissons thats as long as my leg - well, infact I did but somehow have managed to lose all the drawings of roses and daisies I had done. Just my luck! I hope someday Jonny P will teach me how to do digital art, hes super awesome and will be a good concept artist one day ;) *Kiss ass*
A page of research images. Been looking at some illustration degree courses..ooherr.. to be or not to be? I like drinking wine with Mareeek. Marek is a cool guy ;)
My mind in a mircowave
FFFFFFFFFFF- Stupid blog wont do what I tell it to :( big spaces everywhereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
RAAAAAAANTT
I cannot take any of this anymore. I cant tolerate people being horrible for no reason. Im fed up of hurting people without meaning to. I cant stand people causing drama within friendship groups. Im tired of being the one having to fix things. I wish I could say no to people. I wish I could be more aware of things around me instead of being in a dream world. I wish I could pack my bags and leave here and not regret a single moment of it. I wish I could be a better person. I wish I knew what people wanted so I could help and resolve things. I wish I knew what I wanted. I wish I was 5 years old again when nothing really mattered. Im hoping people dont hate me but I guess you cant please all the folk all the time. I wish I was good at things so I could have something to aim for. This is all crap, thats what blogs are for, spilling your crap over the internet, crapcrapcrap. Am I allowed to say crap on the internet?
Having a bad day.
Recently I have been feeling a little under the weather..
Ive decided to start on a little project called
Project: 'Happy Jacket'
Its a little something to keep me occupied whilst I get my head together during these hard times!
Basically im going to buy/make/stitch many many patches of the things that I like/that make me happy and put them onto a denim jacket - then whenever I feel sad I can wear it and BAM we'll have a happy Han as ill be reminded of all the things in life that are good :D
Above: Draft sketch of my friend Jenni Ward 2H,HB,3B pencil
Above: HB Pencil sketch & digital edit of Warrior girl
I was talking to one of my best friends Tash Masztalerz about how ive bought all these new tubes of oil paint and canvases to get me painting again. Though the more I thought about it, I figured that with the amount of paint I have, it wont cover the full face of the canvas as theres too little of it! Tash being an absolute saviour gave me a paste (COLD ENCAUSTIC) that she made for art at uni that enables oil paints to go much further and it lasts a life time!
I love my brother Joe, my friends and outsiders always comment how were so close and that its nice to see siblings get on instead of being at each others throats.
Hes very good at most things; he could be anything that he wants to be.
He writes his own song lyrics and hes a good singer, he also writes bars and raps!
Take a look!
Now who doesnt like a dancing bear?
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